Tantrums, Rest, & Grace.
There's nothing like a child throwing a tantrum. Can I get an Amen?
Children can throw tantrums for various reasons, but the ultimate root of the tantrum is their own selfish desires of not getting what they want right when they want it. They believe their thought, idea, desire, or plan is much better than what they are receiving or being offered.
What's fascinating is, the majority of the time, the tantrum is in response to a decision that was ultimately made for their good. For example, too much sugar could make them get a stomach ache or not taking time to rest/take a nap could leave them feeling miserably tired by the end of the day, leaving them entirely unhappy with the good things they would have really enjoyed.
If we are all completely honest, these tantrums do not stop when we grow up and become adults. Often, our tantrums will just look a lot different since we have developed social skills and actually care about what people around us think about us. The root issue is still the same: we want what we want when we want it, and when someone or something gets in our way, we get upset. Our response can be anger, fear, anxiety, bitterness, gossip, manipulation, and the list goes on and on.
The reality is, mankind is imperfect and we are going to let each other down. This reality can get in the way of us in the moments of throwing tantrums, children OR adults, because we ultimately do not believe in the moment that the person who is getting in the way of our desire is seeking our best interest. Sometimes they are, sometimes they are not; every situation is different. The point is, we can/do reject things that are ultimately for our good because they go against what we want and deem as good.
I just want to confess, this is my attitude with the Lord more often than not. And I would venture to say, that if we are all honest, this is the case for all of us. I cannot tell you how many times in my prayers and in my journal I have had to apologize to the Lord for being a bratty, tantrum-throwing child. What is crazy, though, you would think since we know the truths that He loves us, He is faithful, He is a good Father, He is sovereign and in control of all things, He cares about us, He is perfect in all of His ways, etc., we would actually trust Him and accept His gifts, wisdom, and answers. You would think we would not throw so many tantrums.
It's funny because just like a parent tells their child, God has helped me wrestle through moments by saying, "Well, this is what it is going to be and you can either fight Me on it and be miserable, or you can trust Me and just accept the gift (even if I do not see it as such in the moment) I am giving you." Ultimately, He is God... so He is going to win. And children know that truth, too: the parent has the final say, so it is pretty much a pointless battle to keep on resisting.
Two of the gifts I think we as humans have a hard time receiving are rest and grace.
With rest, some may struggle with resting physically while others may struggle with resting emotionally. Some people struggle with both. Why else do we live lives of constant busyness, people pleasing, and anxiety/fear?
With grace, some may struggle with processes and uncertainties because of the emotional unpredictability it entails. Others may struggle with looking at their past and shaming themselves constantly, preventing them from believing something good could be in store for them.
The more I continue on in my journey with Christ, the more I see just how much I do not receive these gifts and how much I do not fully trust God's love and care for me. And I say this because the reality is, if I truly accepted His good and perfect gifts, I would live a life free from anxiety, doubt, insecurity, discontentment, anger, etc. I would not question His intentions and His timing, and I would obediently and joyfully thank Him in ALL circumstances. I would rest from the need of having to complete all my goals/tasks for the day. I would rest from the need of trying to make a perfect schedule and the attempt to be in control in order to make all things go according to plan. I would walk in a manner that is full of peace, hope, and joy because I know His grace (His freely given assistance and presence) would get me through whatever situation may come my way.
The point I want to leave you with is this: God is enough and what He has done and is doing is enough. His blood was enough and the simple fact He puts breath in our lungs is enough. We do not deserve anything good, but because of Christ’s blood we receive nothing but goodness. Yeah, oftentimes our perspective and idea of good is different than His, but again, He is the One who is perfect, sovereign, and knows the full picture. He knows what we need. He is the good Father who has our best interest in mind and who is the giver of good and perfect gifts... the gifts that are enough for the day and for the moment at hand. Nothing more and nothing less.
In Scripture we see the Israelites arguing with God, questioning His goodness and faithfulness, and ultimately throwing a tantrum when He gave them the instruction of collecting only enough “manna” (bread) for the day. And then on the sixth day they would get enough for both the sixth and the seventh day. This meant they had to rest on the seventh because He instructed them to take a Sabbath (a break) from work. He wanted them to rest, to trust Him, and to trust His sovereignty and provision. He wanted them to understand that He does not need us, but He chooses to let us be apart of what He is doing. He also wanted them to understand that He cared for them and would take care of ALL of their needs.
BUT they fought Him and did not want to rest. Why? It’s REST. Don’t we all long to rest and be worry/care free? This is what our good Father offers us. In fact, He offers it to us daily. Rest looks different for all of us, but ultimately it’s a peace that comes from a faith and trust that God is God and He is perfectly capable of taking care of us. He knows what we need and when we need it, and His timing is perfect. He does not need us to work extra hard and exhaust ourselves, and He certainly does not need us to figure out all the details to the plan in an attempt to be self-reliant. He wants us to trust that His grace is enough, and He wants us to walk in obedience to His Word, trusting His good intentions and care for us.
I pray that we would each have fewer tantrums with our Father and that we would embrace His rest and grace because we truly believe He loves us. I pray that He would continue to teach each of us how to have hearts of gratitude and contentment with His plans, timing, and good gifts. And I pray that He would continue to teach us how to enjoy the process and simply enjoy our relationship with Him... because He is enough.
Soli Deo gloria.
“When you open your hand, you satisfy the hunger and thirst of every living thing.
The Lord is righteous in everything he does; he is filled with kindness.
The Lord is close to all who call on him, yes, to all who call on him in truth.
He grants the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cries for help and rescues them.
The Lord protects all those who love him, but he destroys the wicked.
I will praise the Lord, and may everyone on earth bless his holy name forever and ever.”
- Psalm 145:16-21