Making A Choice
Mountains. What a beautiful and majestic creation. How grand they look from a distance. How intriguing they are to explore. How incredible it feels to stand on top of them. What an overwhelming sense of accomplishment once arrived at the top; especially after the potential feeling of difficulty and/or lack of confidence felt at the bottom or during the trek. Yet, the indescribable view at the top usually makes us feel like it was worth the challenge. Mountains are a lot like life. Some mountains are not as difficult as others; and sometimes, we are on the easy, downhill part of the journey, after the horrendous hike to the peak. Other times, we are standing at the peak just trying to catch our breath, and then sometimes we are standing at the bottom telling ourselves there is no way we can accomplish such a difficult hike. Every part of the experience matters. Every feeling felt is important. It is all a part of the journey. With life, we oftentimes prefer the easy part of the journey: the peak and the going down; however, this part of the experience would not feel so good if we had not experienced the difficult part. What would joy and happiness mean without sadness and insecurity? There would be no way to gauge the goodness or badness of the moment. It is very easy to wish ourselves out of the overwhelmingly difficult parts of the journeys in life. I believe, though, these are some of the most important parts, if not the most important.
Oftentimes, during these parts of the journey, we find ourselves questioning our purpose, our dreams, our goals, etc. Maybe you do not, but I know I do. It is very easy to let these thoughts control your motivation and determination to take on certain tasks, or simply just to go about your day. During my current uphill trek, I am discovering a couple of things: I have to choose to do the things that I need to do in order to find confidence in my purpose, and more importantly, I cannot accomplish this feeling of purpose and hope without Jesus. It does not always seem that easy, though. Hours of Netflix, sleeping, and working sounds so much more intriguing than working out, writing, reading scripture, or just simply being efficient with my time. There must be a way to overcome the constant battle and this vicious cycle. Here is the simple answer God gave me "Come to Me. Be with Me. Sit with Me. And rest in Me." (Matthew 11:28) All of a sudden, the feeling of defeat moves out of the way and I am able to feel the hope and keep going. However, realistically, that feeling lasts all of second before the defeat and insecurity hits again. You have to keep trekking, though.
Think back to the two things I am discovering right now: I have a choice and Jesus is my answer. Each of us has a choice to make each and every day. The choice of how we are going to spend our time, and the choice of what we are going to let ourselves believe. It is easy to get caught up in the difficulty of the journey and start believing the lies of not being good enough, not being strong enough, not being smart enough... or simply just the basic lie of not being enough. We must choose to battle these thoughts and these lies. We are enough because Jesus is enough. Jesus died so that we could be enough. We must choose to believe this truth. Some days will be easier than others. Some days you will choose to spend all of your time wisely and others you will not. That, my friend, is the beauty of grace. Although, we go through these difficult and easy journeys, His grace is sufficient for it all (2 Corinthians 12:9). He does not expect us to be perfect or have it all together.
At the end of the day, my biggest struggle is my pride. I want to take care of myself and accomplish my goals and dreams all on my own. Asking for help makes me feel incapable and weak. Ironically, not asking is what makes me fall into the trap of feeling incapable, weak, and insecure. Even though it is difficult, the only way to break my pride and find my identity solely in Him is by choosing to battle those lies/thoughts in scripture and through spending time with Jesus. Although this part of the journey is never fun, there is no place I would rather be. In this moment, God shines more than ever, due to the fact I clearly cannot do this life on my own. I'm in need of my one and only Savior."
“I lean not on my own understanding, my life is in the hands of the Maker of Heaven. I give it all to You, God, trusting that You’ll make something beautiful out of me. I will climb this mountain with my hands wide open.”